First comes love, then comes marriage… then comes a 30-year fixed mortgage with a 4.299% APR. Well that sounds somewhat daunting, and definitely not romantic. Buying a home can be one of the most nerve-racking financial decisions you’ll ever make, but far too often do couples let it have a negative effect on their relationships. Whether you are newlyweds, recently engaged or simply just committed to your significant other for the rest of your lives, here are my tips for finding your dream home without having your relationship turn in to a nightmare.
Talk to one another
When buying a home with your spouse, it is important to communicate to each other what you are both looking for in your future home. Before you start your search, sit down and write out your must-haves for your dream home. One thing to also discuss is what purpose you both see this home serving – are you looking for a house you can do some quick updates to and then sell in a few years? Or are you searching for a house you settle down in and start a family? By figuring out what it is you are both searching for in your first home early on will hopefully help you avoid any misunderstandings once you actually start looking at properties.
Did you know? According to a study by Coldwell Banker Real Estate , 80% of married American’s who participated said that buying a home with their current spouse did more to strengthen their relationship than any other purchase.
Compromise
You see it happen all the time on almost every show on HGTV – one person wants open concept, while their significant other wants each room to be separated. Or, maybe one person wants an industrial look and the other prefers something with more of a farmhouse feel. Communicate with your partner and discuss each other’s absolute must-haves, and then decide what things you are both willing to compromise on. Perhaps it’s okay to compromise on one room that your loved one wants exactly the way they envision. Than ask them if you can have a room that is just what you want too?
Stay attentive to your relationship
Yes, buying a home with your spouse is a fun and exciting time, but it can also become all-consuming. If you are both spending all of your time looking at houses or researching mortgage lenders, it is easy to become inundated with your search and lose sight on maintaining your relationship. Don’t forget to still be a couple. Carve out time to have a special date night for just the two of you and do something that isn’t house-hunting related. Forgot about any stresses and just have some fun! Here are some of my favorite date-night (or day) ideas:
- Take a dance class together
- Go to a wine tasting or take a tour of a local brewery
- Learn to cook a new meal together (or take a cooking class!)
- Wander around a local farmer’s market or roam your local gourmet grocery store
- Sign up for a 5k run/walk in the area you are thinking about moving to.
Deal with the stress
Hopefully you and your significant other can avoid the stress of searching altogether. But, if you are starting to become stressed it is important that you recognize it and figure out how to deal with it in a healthy way. Don’t get mad at each other. Don’t get mad at the process. Just know that this is part of doing the work for yourself and your future together. Have fun with it and find outlets. For example, do you find painting to be a good stress reliever? Buy a big canvas plus a few basic paints and brushes for you and your partner to create a DIY abstract art piece to hang up in your future home.
Another important factor that will help keep your stress levels at a minimum is working with the right realtor. You are going to want someone who is knowledgeable on the market and can navigate you and your partner to the perfect home.
Did you know? According to bordedpanda.com holding a loved one’s hand relieves stress!
So, are you and your partner ready to start your home search? Contact me today!
